The Birds and The Bees
by Raven524
Summary: WARNING SPOILERS: Takes place during 5.03 and is the missing scene right after Dean decides Cas needs to relax. This is just some light hearted fun at Cas’s expense.


**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

**Summary:** WARNING SPOILERS: Takes place during 5.03 and is the missing scene right after Dean decides Cas needs to relax. This is just some light hearted fun at Cas's expense.

**Raven 524**: I just couldn't help myself. I wondered what kind of conversation Dean would have with Castielle on the way to the bar. This is my take, hope it's not too badly done.

**The Birds and The Bees**

Dean pulled the black car smoothly into the crowded parking lot of the local bar. His eyes gleamed as he heard the sounds of laughter and music coming from the open doorway. Normally he preferred to pick up at a more savory place, but the current establishment would meet their needs. Besides it wasn't like they had time to do the normal mating dance. A quick glance at the angel sitting beside him almost made him burst out laughing. Cas was actually squirming in the seat while trying to look passive.

"Come on Cas, loosen up. It's not like this is gonna kill you." Dean sighed as he thought about tomorrow. It worried him that they would be facing an Archangel with nothing more than a small urn of some ancient salad dressing. But now, he needed to relax and have some fun.

"Why am I here Dean? This is a house of ill repute." Cas asked quietly as he looked at the garish lights through the windshield. "I don't think I'll find God here…"

"Nope, probably not. But maybe, if you're lucky. You'll find a little bit of heaven." Dean winked and smiled as he saw the angel turn questioning eyes in his direction.

"Heaven is not there, I would know it Dean." Cas said in his calm voice.

Dean shook his head and sighed. "Never mind. Now before we go in, why don't you tap into your inner Jimmy and see if you can remember how to pick up a girl."

Cas frowned. "Jimmy is no longer part of this vessel. He has moved on to be at peace." The angel paused for a moment before Dean could reply, a confused look on his face. "Why would I want to pick the girl up? Wouldn't I just talk to her?"

"Are you purposely being dense?" Dean slapped the angel on the shoulder and winced as he felt the hardness beneath his hand. He remembered how badly his hand hurt after he punched the angel. "You really aren't junkless are you Cas?"

"Dean, I assure you I can function just fine." The angel actually huffed. Well this would definitely be entertaining. Almost as much fun as when he set up Sam with the hooker. Dean sighed for a moment as he wondered where his little brother was right now. He was pretty sure he wasn't having fun; no he was probably sitting in a room with his nose in a book. At least that's what he told himself so he could sleep at night.

"Are we going in or are we just going to sit here?" Cas asked softly, his eyes suddenly filled with understanding.

"Right, now don't forget to use protection…" Dean paused at the confused look on the angel's face. "Dude, didn't you ever have the talk about the birds and the bees?" He held up his hand before Cas could reply. "Unbelievable! Okay, just follow my lead and we'll have you set up before you know it."

The hunter reached inside his pocket and pulled out his tattered wallet. He opened it and pulled out a small foil pouch. "Here, keep this with you and if you decide to…ah…you know, plant some angel seed, then make sure you use our friendly Trojan's and keep your little soldiers all nice and contained."

Cas took the package and looked down for a moment before he replied. "Why would I need Trojan soldiers to protect me? I'm an angel of the Lord Dean…"

Dean ran a hand down his face. "Okay, okay. Maybe we should just go in and have a few beers. Man I can really use one right now. Come on!" The hunter quickly exited the car and headed for the bar. He didn't even look to see if the angel was following. Right now all he wanted was a cold beer and some company that didn't require him to be a walking dictionary.

The End


End file.
